Backpack Picnic Episode: “Spin” Corporate Speaker: Thank you guys for coming in on Friday, or as I like to call it boat day. Alright let’s get down to business, ladies and gentleman of the press, thank you very much for being here. It is my distinct honor to regret to inform you of the truth about the state of disrepair that has befallen this humble corporation. And the degree of environmental pollution for which said organization is, to a certain quantifiable extent, indirectly responsible. Reporter one: Are you saying that Corprocom doesn’t take full responsibility for… Corporate Speaker: You know what sir I will take questions after the presentations over, that’s usually how we do things here. (Laughs) Oh, um, hmm. Over recent months and really quiet entirely by accident Corpocom has murdered thousands of baby cheetahs. However when faced with the opportunity to cover up this fact Corpocom executives did vote six to five, not to. Press Claps Reporter one: But baby cheetahs were murdered? Corporate Speaker: (clears throat) also our carbon admissions tripled last quarter, and uh, we do now lead the nation in both rainforest depletion and the baby cheetah murder. But if you will turn your attention to the screen. Crowd goes ah Alright, you will see quiet clearly how happy children and puppies have risen suddenly over the past three years. And this is a trend that Corpocom has pledged to continue indefinitely so thank you. Very, very good. Crowd Claps So then we have the baby cheetahs. Ah, terrorist funding has taken a huge dip lately we are very proud is this… Reporter one: Uh, that graph says Terrorist not funded. Corporate Speaker: You are not funding fewer terrorist than before? There funding more terrorist now, can you idiots read graphs? Reporter one: Hey everybody! Crowd gets excited, then mystified. Corporate Speaker: Ice cream, Ice cream, I want some. Ice cream, Ice cream poison. What did I say, did I say poison? Reporter one: You’re all eating poison!