Found that special person and they're you're best friend? Yikes. Andrea can help. Listen up for tips and advice that will enable you to woo that special someone, even if they don't know your true feelings.
Do you have any advice for someone who is very late to the dating game? Because of parents being ultra uptight in regards to dating and girls growing up I wasn't allowed to date or even have a girlfriend until I was a junior in high school (17 at the time) and once I did get a girlfriend we stayed together for a long time (4 years) which was not a good idea as I never learned how to get out there and meet women. I am now 24, almost 25, and I have only had one girlfriend my whole life (we broke up so long ago that she is now married) and I have no idea on even the fundamentals of dating let alone asking women out. All the women I am attracted to have so much more experience at relationships then me and I end up acting like a middle school, pre-pubescent idiot when I finally get around them. Is there anything I can do to quickly make up for lost time and get to where many other 25 year old males are and have some fun without screwing it up?
I have been dating this girl for about 9 months. she had never buy me a gift, and when I buy her gifts she always complains. I try to be nice to her, buy her gifts that I know she will like, but she never appreciate them or anything else that i'm doing for her. I do love her but i'm getting seek of her habbit. So what should I do?
I'd like some advice please...I met a guy online 6 months ago & everything was cool in the beginning!We'd chat at least once a day. We've seen each other twice(we live 40 miles apart & I just got my drivers license) But as of lately he's been so busy with work & remodeling his house (which he's doing all by himself)that we don't chat like we used to. Let me mention that at the beginning we agreed to be just friends but two and half months ago was when I told him that I really like him & my son asked him what are we & he told him that we are friends right now but you never know what could happen down the road. I guess I should also mention that I'm still married (will be final 10/08/08) & he was kinda freaked out the last time he came over to see me because he did think it was final. I've explained that my feelings for him are the real deal & that he's not a rebound or revenge thing because I haven't been in love with my soon to be ex for the past 4 years! Anyways I really like him & I asked him 2 weeks ago if he still wants to see me & he said yes. So should I just be patient until my divorce is truly final or leave him be?
I love that we can all see everything clearer on the outside. She obviously came to you cause she knew she could count on you and are a genuine person and still had feelings about you to some degree (We don't share being an emotional mess with everyone). We only contact people from that past that we care about or has made an impact on our lives. Right now, be her friend, you can throw her hints about your feelings but she is vulnerable - you don't want to be that guy - the sap we know will alway be there and do anything. Wait until everything settles. Be a good friend (but not over baring), once everything settles and she is back to normal emotionally, you can share your feelings. But right now is not the time. You don't want to be the ex/friend which is always her backup. Friendship is hard with girls/guys - It's an emotionally roller coaster, not sure why we love them so much, but we do and don't want to loose them. Keep your feelings to yourself until she is over the breakup.... Just remember we all keep people in our lives cause we care about them or they fulfill something we are envious of. More that likely she is looking for a geniune person, that she cares about and respects to get her everything. Friendship is the basis of being truely in Love!!
Hey - okay I am really screwed up. I have been the best of friends with this guy for the last 2 years(since he moved here from NY - we met through a friend 3 mnths before). At one time, he told me I was the closest person to him as his ex-wife. We both were the people that we first went to when anything happened(personal, family, career, etc.) We made the mistake that we moved into gether as roommates, cause we spent so much time together. Unfortunatly we have been sleeping together from the beginning (and he told me that I am the one person he has had the best sex with), we are compatiable on every level; I told each him from the beginng we had no expectation and I have told him many times I don't want anyting from him. I truely have never wanted anything from him cause I know he can't be faithful - but do love hime/ He has always told me he cared for me and done a lot for me, but continued to sleep around with others; but on the wrong side he always wants me to be bff with the new girl (which alone is wrong). In the last couple months I lost my job and moved out from him to my own place. Since then he has been a jerk - done anything and everything to make me feel like sh**) but told me he cares - Actions speek louder than words?? Even as far as ditching me a bar and not answering my calls or texts. I'm confused - he told me I was the closest person to him and cares, yet treats my like sh** when I need someone. Were we every friends or did he use me til he found his own friends?? Is it worth keeping him in my life??
I've known this girl for about a year, and when we first met we were very flirtatious. For about a whole summer we just flirted with eachother, playing little games. I just wanted to sleep with her, that's all. I was about to make a move but she ended up kissing my friend because she was drunk, and she knew she made a mistake by doing that to me. And she told my other friends she had feelings for me after the incident. So I lead her on for a while like we were going to hook-up but then I brushed her off one day and stopped talking to her completely because I couldn't get over the fact she kissed my friend. I told her my ex and I were going to get back together as a way to distance myself. Now a year later, we moved to the same area, we're hanging out again and I realize that I actually have real feelings for her because we've gotten to be close. We don't even flirt anymore, we are just having a great time together and I'm getting to really know her, as a friend. At first I just wanted to sleep with her, now I really like her. We haven't talked about what happened before, yet, and I think she thinks we're just friends now. We've already tried to do the relationship thing and I rejected her. I know this one is an uphill battle, but she's really hot :) and she once had feelings for me. How do I get back in there?
I too would like some help. I have this guy friend, and we have been friends for about a year and throughout the year we have been dating on and off. Sometimes he acts like he's really into me, and then other times he acts like he doesn't like me at all. We talk all the time and hang out and he'll lead me on, and then say he doesn't want a relationship. But I really like him, and I don't know what to do?
Hey barb, while I agree carl that this guy is probably over you or just wants to hook up, I don't think dating a hundred people is the answer. The more people you date the more boring it becomes and you just find yourself hooking up because it feels like. Seriously, you don't want that kind of baggage. I am a "smart" guy carl, but I dont want to sleep with everyone. Barbs, I actually think he does want to be friends with you, but tell him you guys just need to hang out with no action. If he pulls even the slightest move on you cut it off. If you cant hang out with him without thinking about him all the time then you also need to cut ties with him. Look forward, not back, the right dude wont treat you like this.
Hey Barbie, I would say that if you are dating, you aren't friends. If you have slept with him, he probably is satisfied with that experience there. It is probably best that you date a lot of different people and not be fixated on just one person. Create demand for yourself and stop the talking all the time and hanging out.
It is all based on phoniness from the beginning. If you are a hot girl, the guy who is your "friend" is wanting to get with you and is likely too much of a wimp to make a move. He uses the friend thing as way to keep his hat in the ring. The smart man doesn't focus on one girl. If you have a life with your choice of women, you don't need to sit and think up phoney tactics to trick a friend to sleep with you. If this "friend" likes you, let her get in there and compete for your time and attention. Keep your friends to guys and girls you aren't attracted to. Every thing else is total bs.
I would also like to get help from someone. The thing is that i have a friend & still we like each other very much, we comminucate a lot, & he tells he likes spending time with me, we enjoy a lot together & once he told me he loves me. We slept for several times - so logically we are not friends like friends but something more. But he still says i'm his friend though we had sex & he still says he likes me but i can see that these relations do not go anywhere .. they stay still! & i question myself is we feel so good together, making love & i know that he has some feelings.. so why he does not want to date? He is single, i'm single, we have feelings toward each other, he wants me to care about him, to be close but nothing happens. He just tells these things & still i can't see any actions.
I'm very confused!
Hey ray, this guy seems like a serious jerk from my experience. Of course sex feels good in the moment, but that should not determine the base of your relationship. Friendship is actually the foundation of your relationship, sex is a bonus. He wants you to care for him so he can call you whenever he wants to have sex. Unless there is something you left out, I would seriously kick this guy butt if I met him. I hate guys like this, gives us good guys a bad rep. I'm sorry, don't be fooled, a real man will not lead you on with sex and no friendship. Kick him in the balls for me. Peace, I wish you the best
Hi, I need some advice. I am an international student studying for nursing. After a week or two since the start of school, I was approached by this hunky good looking guy and asked if we can be study buddies. He asked for my phone number and from there we started this wonderful relationship. As the days progressed, we hang out before and after our class. I like him the first time i met him. There is something about him I can't explain. One time he asked for a hug and next thing I knew he gave me a big smack on the lips. After that he called and apologized. A few days after I decided to tell him a litte more about myself. I want to be honest with him so that whatever it is that is happening between us, and for sure there is chemistry between us, that I will not be feeling mad at myself. I am a 41 yrs old single mom of 3 and 14 years older than him, but I don't look my age. I look 10 years younger and still fit. My looks can fool people. I have been out of a relationship for 4 years and meeting him has open feelings that I never thought I will be feeling again. There is this one time I will never forget, we gave each other a nice hug but then the hug felt different, much more special than the normal one and that is when he kissed me and it turned passionate. It happened the second time when we were alone again. But it never went to 2nd or 3rd base. We talked about it afterwards and we were both open about it. I don't know if it was just my hormones acting up because everytime he is around he gives me this tingling feeling and my thoughts goes haywire. We agreed not to kiss nor give each other special hugs anymore. We try to keep it on a safe level. It is very hard seeing him and not feeling like this. We will be there for each other as long as we can. He told me he cared a lot for me. And what makes me like him more is because he didn't take advantage of my feelings. I don't know what to do. I asked myself why of all the female in that class, I am the one he asked. He is in my thoughts most of the time. I am just wondering if this pent up, bottled emotions that I have for him will just explode one day and I don't know what I will do . I am also thinking that I am older than him. Should I just stay away from him as possible or just continue this crazy relationship?
I need some help as well. I've known this girl for about 4 months and we have recently shared our feelings about each other. She likes me, and I like her. I am a relatively shy guy. We talk to each other every night on the phone. She is a somewhat moody and emotional girl. I sometimes have trouble on how to respond. I normally just say "mmhmm" "yeah" or "dang." Um.. I don't know what it is, but its kind of just around her when I get all shy. One of my good friends, who is also my girl friends good friends, told me that she said my girlfriend doesn't think that I like her anymore. I really don't know what to do. I act reallly different around her than I do with my good friends. And I have NO clue why. I just want her to know that I DO really like her, I am just not sure how to show it.
oh yeah thanks a lot xcountry. I also forgot something. She does talk to me on the phone a lot. When she gets mad, I don't know what to do. I try to help out, but sometimes she doesn't really say whats the matter. Then after she gets all mad, she apologizes and said she was sorry for being terrible to me. I usually just say ok.. but should I just keep letting that happen? or should i actually DO something?
Hey laur, you need to learn some basic confidence. Its okay to be confident without cocky, which is the way you act around her friends because, duh, you dont like them the same way you like her. You are going to have to step out of your box when around her. Stop being afraid of what your going to say around her or when to say it. I know, I've been in the same situation and you will lose her because she thinks you dont like her because you dont say much. When you guys go out, just have fun, dont go on romantic, serious dates, it relaxes the atmosphere, as well as group dates. Group dates are the best advice for this situation because you wont feel like you have to entertain her, while you can still be funny because you are around her friends. Just make sure most of your attention is on her or she will think you dont like her. Peace
Also, don't talk on the phone unless absolutely necessary. Phone talk will only end up her asking questions you cant answer, so hang out in person, phones are evil machines that just make you wish you were with that person ..in person
i need some help im really good friends with this guy who i work with he came to me and needed someone to talk too about some problems i was glad to be there i do like him more then a friend and he doesnt know it. we went from talking everyday on the phone and txting to no contact that was done by him i have tried to ask him what is going on and he wont answer me there is an age difference of 10 years im older. he started with all of the contact first not me. it has made it very difficult at work we just glare at each other and neither will speak, he also likes to call me late at nite like any where from 1am to 3am and when i try to call him he never answers so please help me
Men are the strangest creatures. I know because I am one and have been one for 36 years. We, believe it or not, are more emotional than women, it just shows differently. When we are going thru something we are the best friend you could have. Hell, we may even start having "feelings" for the person that is helping us get thru our rough spot. However, when everything stabilizes we get a clearer grip on how we feel about you. Unlike women, we don't express our feelings too well so we'd rather cut off communication abruptly and not answer phone calls, rather than take you aside and thanks for all the help you've been, but there's nothing more here. The occasional 1am - 3am call is a HUGE sign that this guy talks to you when he has a "need" of some sort, nothing more.
Hey lil, this guy you work with needs to respect your bounderies. You can't be acting desperate and calling him back, but at the same time you shouldn't answer when he calls because he see's you as a problem solver that he can go to (possibly cause you're wiser/older, in his mind anyway) whenever he needs help. If you like him, don't give him advice! 1. You don't know the full story nomatter what he tells you. 2. You won't honestly give him the right advice because you are naturally selfishly motivated. 3. You need to just have fun with him at work, no guy would get into a relationship with someone if they are no fun. By being fun, he'll see your feelings and his will come out.
anyway i need help to get a solution about my friend..im so confused about him...i cant write it down here cos the story rally long..so where do i have to tell or just send email to someone who can help me...thx..if there is plese give the email address so i can write down the story then can help me to find out what was going on with him..thx in advance...
I agree 150%... But then the sad thing is you loose a friend you thought would always be there. Doee anyone believe guys and gals can just be friends? I've always thought so, but now I'm questioning.
This article was good advice on friendship ...however ...You've been dumped and your ex wants to be you "friend" and you say yes then it's awkward when you meet the new girlfriend, because you had a close intimate relationship with ex .. what then?
The person who does the dumping is always the one who insists that there is no reason you can't be "friends". Don't fall for this. It's a lame attempt to make themselves feel "not guilty" about their improprieties in your relationship. And, by you remaining "friends" with them, it lessens their burden. This person is not a "friend" at all. A "friend" would have the common sense to know that you can't "cut it off" with someone and expect them to still be your "friend". It's a very selfish expectation. My advice to you, move on and find some real "friends".
Hey Keeper, he honestly just doesn't want you to be mad at him for dumping you. He didn't feel a strong enough attraction to you so to not fully hurt you he says,"Let's just be friend's." Unfortunately, this won't work unless you guys hang out with groups of friends. His new girl certainly won't let you hang out together nor is it appropriate. If you still like him cut off contact and if he see's what he missed out on then great, but you can't harp on the past. I know it's painfull, but look forward there are better things in store.
yeah i think that is absolutely perfect, sometime life goes to beyond what we expected so friendship is better, then later you should be dating if you find out about each other.
I need your opinion and advice please. lol. I really like this girl. It all started out with a small crush. We became good friends but we stopped talking because she had a kid with some other guy so each of us went our own ways. Things did not work out with this guy so she never hooked up with him. We are really close now and I like her even more now. I've never told her I like her but she knows because people around her have told her. sometimes I think she has feelings for me too but i'm not sure and don't want to look like and idiot i guess. She did ask me to move in with her but i don't know if its b/c she likes me or just looks at me as a friend. We are moving in together though. Should I tell her I like her before we move in or just go with the flow when we move in together and see where the relationship goes from there?
Don't do it.... My BF and I moved into together and everyone told me not too. We had hooked up many many time but neither of us wanted anything from each other. It was okay for 6 mths; but both of use became drama queens w/ each other. If there is any attraction - don't do it! You will only ruin the good friendship. Jealously comes even when you don't expect it or even want anything from the other person. Both will feel like like they need to pee on their tree at some point - really ruins amazing friendships...
If you need a place to stay, you better not say anything until AFTER... LOL. Just kidding! Look, the biggest is misconception is that you'll lose the person as a friend if you let them know that you are attracted to them. Trust me, it won't. If anything, it will make your friendship even stronger, not weaker, unless of course you get all creepy about it. My advice is to tell her this and get prepared for her to give you a BIG kiss (on the lips or the cheeks): "I don't know if you've ever looked in a mirror and noticed how beautiful you are, but it's humanly impossible for a man to see you and not be attracted to you. And, well, I'm no different. (pause and wait for her response... if she doesn't say anything, continue with this line...) I just wanted to let you know that I'm not gay. (sigh, and then laugh... she'll love you to death afterward... as a friend or even more)
I disagree... when one knows they care for the other friends/ or friends that would do anything for each tother.... The person who cares who cares more is alwsys unsure of their place within within the life as a friend of the other; even if she/he says a lot of comments leading you in the wrong direction. The reality is how ho treats you on a day in and day out basis with or with out his friends (If he is a hit or miss.... The quesition is - how does he make you feel around his friends or someone he is trying to impress - guys like to impress (think is how it is correlated to how things go in the future... ie, is he a Jones meets Jones or I'd don't care wheat others think.... So being with each other doesn't count w other doesn't always cound, do you remember Sex & the City with Carries' friend - that is reality!
Thanks for the advice dahnye1. I really appreciate it. It means the world to me and i really mean it. I know you say I should tell her but should I tell her before or after we move out?
If you like her, Don't Move In with Her! This is a common pitfall among men. You want to talk about moving too fast lol. If you tell her after you move in that you like her and she doesn't have the same feelings she will feel disrespected that you just moved in because you like her. Then it's super awkward. If you move in and she does like you, great but that is way too fast. Something doesn't seem right here. If she liked you she should as a decent human being tell you before asking you to be a roommate. Also, there is no mystery when you live with someone. You know everything about them...boring. Tell her you respect her, but can't move in because you like her. Ask her on date first for God's sakes. ANd not a cheesy romantic date she wants to have fun. Peace
I understand that you say that she will fell disrespected if i tell her i like her after we move in but she already knows i like her even though she has not heard it coming out of my mouth. and if she does like me i know you say that she should be a decent human being and tell me she likes me before we move in , but then again I'm doing the samething to her because I haven't told her i liked her yet. What should I do? Please help me xcountrymike!!!!??????
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Do you have any advice for someone who is very late to the dating game? Because of parents being ultra uptight in regards to dating and girls growing up I wasn't allowed to date or even have a girlfriend until I was a junior in high school (17 at the time) and once I did get a girlfriend we stayed together for a long time (4 years) which was not a good idea as I never learned how to get out there and meet women. I am now 24, almost 25, and I have only had one girlfriend my whole life (we broke up so long ago that she is now married) and I have no idea on even the fundamentals of dating let alone asking women out. All the women I am attracted to have so much more experience at relationships then me and I end up acting like a middle school, pre-pubescent idiot when I finally get around them. Is there anything I can do to quickly make up for lost time and get to where many other 25 year old males are and have some fun without screwing it up?
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I have been dating this girl for about 9 months. she had never buy me a gift, and when I buy her gifts she always complains. I try to be nice to her, buy her gifts that I know she will like, but she never appreciate them or anything else that i'm doing for her. I do love her but i'm getting seek of her habbit. So what should I do?
I'd like some advice please...I met a guy online 6 months ago & everything was cool in the beginning!We'd chat at least once a day. We've seen each other twice(we live 40 miles apart & I just got my drivers license) But as of lately he's been so busy with work & remodeling his house (which he's doing all by himself)that we don't chat like we used to. Let me mention that at the beginning we agreed to be just friends but two and half months ago was when I told him that I really like him & my son asked him what are we & he told him that we are friends right now but you never know what could happen down the road. I guess I should also mention that I'm still married (will be final 10/08/08) & he was kinda freaked out the last time he came over to see me because he did think it was final. I've explained that my feelings for him are the real deal & that he's not a rebound or revenge thing because I haven't been in love with my soon to be ex for the past 4 years! Anyways I really like him & I asked him 2 weeks ago if he still wants to see me & he said yes. So should I just be patient until my divorce is truly final or leave him be?
i think u should be patient
I love that we can all see everything clearer on the outside. She obviously came to you cause she knew she could count on you and are a genuine person and still had feelings about you to some degree (We don't share being an emotional mess with everyone). We only contact people from that past that we care about or has made an impact on our lives. Right now, be her friend, you can throw her hints about your feelings but she is vulnerable - you don't want to be that guy - the sap we know will alway be there and do anything. Wait until everything settles. Be a good friend (but not over baring), once everything settles and she is back to normal emotionally, you can share your feelings. But right now is not the time. You don't want to be the ex/friend which is always her backup. Friendship is hard with girls/guys - It's an emotionally roller coaster, not sure why we love them so much, but we do and don't want to loose them. Keep your feelings to yourself until she is over the breakup.... Just remember we all keep people in our lives cause we care about them or they fulfill something we are envious of. More that likely she is looking for a geniune person, that she cares about and respects to get her everything. Friendship is the basis of being truely in Love!!
Hey - okay I am really screwed up. I have been the best of friends with this guy for the last 2 years(since he moved here from NY - we met through a friend 3 mnths before). At one time, he told me I was the closest person to him as his ex-wife. We both were the people that we first went to when anything happened(personal, family, career, etc.) We made the mistake that we moved into gether as roommates, cause we spent so much time together. Unfortunatly we have been sleeping together from the beginning (and he told me that I am the one person he has had the best sex with), we are compatiable on every level; I told each him from the beginng we had no expectation and I have told him many times I don't want anyting from him. I truely have never wanted anything from him cause I know he can't be faithful - but do love hime/ He has always told me he cared for me and done a lot for me, but continued to sleep around with others; but on the wrong side he always wants me to be bff with the new girl (which alone is wrong). In the last couple months I lost my job and moved out from him to my own place. Since then he has been a jerk - done anything and everything to make me feel like sh**) but told me he cares - Actions speek louder than words?? Even as far as ditching me a bar and not answering my calls or texts. I'm confused - he told me I was the closest person to him and cares, yet treats my like sh** when I need someone. Were we every friends or did he use me til he found his own friends?? Is it worth keeping him in my life??
I've known this girl for about a year, and when we first met we were very flirtatious. For about a whole summer we just flirted with eachother, playing little games. I just wanted to sleep with her, that's all. I was about to make a move but she ended up kissing my friend because she was drunk, and she knew she made a mistake by doing that to me. And she told my other friends she had feelings for me after the incident. So I lead her on for a while like we were going to hook-up but then I brushed her off one day and stopped talking to her completely because I couldn't get over the fact she kissed my friend. I told her my ex and I were going to get back together as a way to distance myself. Now a year later, we moved to the same area, we're hanging out again and I realize that I actually have real feelings for her because we've gotten to be close. We don't even flirt anymore, we are just having a great time together and I'm getting to really know her, as a friend. At first I just wanted to sleep with her, now I really like her. We haven't talked about what happened before, yet, and I think she thinks we're just friends now. We've already tried to do the relationship thing and I rejected her. I know this one is an uphill battle, but she's really hot :) and she once had feelings for me. How do I get back in there?
I too would like some help. I have this guy friend, and we have been friends for about a year and throughout the year we have been dating on and off. Sometimes he acts like he's really into me, and then other times he acts like he doesn't like me at all. We talk all the time and hang out and he'll lead me on, and then say he doesn't want a relationship. But I really like him, and I don't know what to do?
Hey barb, while I agree carl that this guy is probably over you or just wants to hook up, I don't think dating a hundred people is the answer. The more people you date the more boring it becomes and you just find yourself hooking up because it feels like. Seriously, you don't want that kind of baggage. I am a "smart" guy carl, but I dont want to sleep with everyone. Barbs, I actually think he does want to be friends with you, but tell him you guys just need to hang out with no action. If he pulls even the slightest move on you cut it off. If you cant hang out with him without thinking about him all the time then you also need to cut ties with him. Look forward, not back, the right dude wont treat you like this.
Hey Barbie, I would say that if you are dating, you aren't friends. If you have slept with him, he probably is satisfied with that experience there. It is probably best that you date a lot of different people and not be fixated on just one person. Create demand for yourself and stop the talking all the time and hanging out.
It is all based on phoniness from the beginning. If you are a hot girl, the guy who is your "friend" is wanting to get with you and is likely too much of a wimp to make a move. He uses the friend thing as way to keep his hat in the ring. The smart man doesn't focus on one girl. If you have a life with your choice of women, you don't need to sit and think up phoney tactics to trick a friend to sleep with you. If this "friend" likes you, let her get in there and compete for your time and attention. Keep your friends to guys and girls you aren't attracted to. Every thing else is total bs.
I would also like to get help from someone. The thing is that i have a friend & still we like each other very much, we comminucate a lot, & he tells he likes spending time with me, we enjoy a lot together & once he told me he loves me. We slept for several times - so logically we are not friends like friends but something more. But he still says i'm his friend though we had sex & he still says he likes me but i can see that these relations do not go anywhere .. they stay still! & i question myself is we feel so good together, making love & i know that he has some feelings.. so why he does not want to date? He is single, i'm single, we have feelings toward each other, he wants me to care about him, to be close but nothing happens. He just tells these things & still i can't see any actions.
I'm very confused!
Hey ray, this guy seems like a serious jerk from my experience. Of course sex feels good in the moment, but that should not determine the base of your relationship. Friendship is actually the foundation of your relationship, sex is a bonus. He wants you to care for him so he can call you whenever he wants to have sex. Unless there is something you left out, I would seriously kick this guy butt if I met him. I hate guys like this, gives us good guys a bad rep. I'm sorry, don't be fooled, a real man will not lead you on with sex and no friendship. Kick him in the balls for me. Peace, I wish you the best
Hi, I need some advice. I am an international student studying for nursing. After a week or two since the start of school, I was approached by this hunky good looking guy and asked if we can be study buddies. He asked for my phone number and from there we started this wonderful relationship. As the days progressed, we hang out before and after our class. I like him the first time i met him. There is something about him I can't explain. One time he asked for a hug and next thing I knew he gave me a big smack on the lips. After that he called and apologized. A few days after I decided to tell him a litte more about myself. I want to be honest with him so that whatever it is that is happening between us, and for sure there is chemistry between us, that I will not be feeling mad at myself. I am a 41 yrs old single mom of 3 and 14 years older than him, but I don't look my age. I look 10 years younger and still fit. My looks can fool people. I have been out of a relationship for 4 years and meeting him has open feelings that I never thought I will be feeling again. There is this one time I will never forget, we gave each other a nice hug but then the hug felt different, much more special than the normal one and that is when he kissed me and it turned passionate. It happened the second time when we were alone again. But it never went to 2nd or 3rd base. We talked about it afterwards and we were both open about it. I don't know if it was just my hormones acting up because everytime he is around he gives me this tingling feeling and my thoughts goes haywire. We agreed not to kiss nor give each other special hugs anymore. We try to keep it on a safe level. It is very hard seeing him and not feeling like this. We will be there for each other as long as we can. He told me he cared a lot for me. And what makes me like him more is because he didn't take advantage of my feelings. I don't know what to do. I asked myself why of all the female in that class, I am the one he asked. He is in my thoughts most of the time. I am just wondering if this pent up, bottled emotions that I have for him will just explode one day and I don't know what I will do . I am also thinking that I am older than him. Should I just stay away from him as possible or just continue this crazy relationship?
I need some help as well. I've known this girl for about 4 months and we have recently shared our feelings about each other. She likes me, and I like her. I am a relatively shy guy. We talk to each other every night on the phone. She is a somewhat moody and emotional girl. I sometimes have trouble on how to respond. I normally just say "mmhmm" "yeah" or "dang." Um.. I don't know what it is, but its kind of just around her when I get all shy. One of my good friends, who is also my girl friends good friends, told me that she said my girlfriend doesn't think that I like her anymore. I really don't know what to do. I act reallly different around her than I do with my good friends. And I have NO clue why. I just want her to know that I DO really like her, I am just not sure how to show it.
oh yeah thanks a lot xcountry. I also forgot something. She does talk to me on the phone a lot. When she gets mad, I don't know what to do. I try to help out, but sometimes she doesn't really say whats the matter. Then after she gets all mad, she apologizes and said she was sorry for being terrible to me. I usually just say ok.. but should I just keep letting that happen? or should i actually DO something?
Hey laur, you need to learn some basic confidence. Its okay to be confident without cocky, which is the way you act around her friends because, duh, you dont like them the same way you like her. You are going to have to step out of your box when around her. Stop being afraid of what your going to say around her or when to say it. I know, I've been in the same situation and you will lose her because she thinks you dont like her because you dont say much. When you guys go out, just have fun, dont go on romantic, serious dates, it relaxes the atmosphere, as well as group dates. Group dates are the best advice for this situation because you wont feel like you have to entertain her, while you can still be funny because you are around her friends. Just make sure most of your attention is on her or she will think you dont like her. Peace
Also, don't talk on the phone unless absolutely necessary. Phone talk will only end up her asking questions you cant answer, so hang out in person, phones are evil machines that just make you wish you were with that person ..in person
Respect self, Respect Others and be Responsible for all your actions
agree too
agree
i need some help im really good friends with this guy who i work with he came to me and needed someone to talk too about some problems i was glad to be there i do like him more then a friend and he doesnt know it. we went from talking everyday on the phone and txting to no contact that was done by him i have tried to ask him what is going on and he wont answer me there is an age difference of 10 years im older. he started with all of the contact first not me. it has made it very difficult at work we just glare at each other and neither will speak, he also likes to call me late at nite like any where from 1am to 3am and when i try to call him he never answers so please help me
Men are the strangest creatures. I know because I am one and have been one for 36 years. We, believe it or not, are more emotional than women, it just shows differently. When we are going thru something we are the best friend you could have. Hell, we may even start having "feelings" for the person that is helping us get thru our rough spot. However, when everything stabilizes we get a clearer grip on how we feel about you. Unlike women, we don't express our feelings too well so we'd rather cut off communication abruptly and not answer phone calls, rather than take you aside and thanks for all the help you've been, but there's nothing more here. The occasional 1am - 3am call is a HUGE sign that this guy talks to you when he has a "need" of some sort, nothing more.
Hey lil, this guy you work with needs to respect your bounderies. You can't be acting desperate and calling him back, but at the same time you shouldn't answer when he calls because he see's you as a problem solver that he can go to (possibly cause you're wiser/older, in his mind anyway) whenever he needs help. If you like him, don't give him advice! 1. You don't know the full story nomatter what he tells you. 2. You won't honestly give him the right advice because you are naturally selfishly motivated. 3. You need to just have fun with him at work, no guy would get into a relationship with someone if they are no fun. By being fun, he'll see your feelings and his will come out.
anyway i need help to get a solution about my friend..im so confused about him...i cant write it down here cos the story rally long..so where do i have to tell or just send email to someone who can help me...thx..if there is plese give the email address so i can write down the story then can help me to find out what was going on with him..thx in advance...
friendship is most wonderfull then....
I agree 150%... But then the sad thing is you loose a friend you thought would always be there. Doee anyone believe guys and gals can just be friends? I've always thought so, but now I'm questioning.
This article was good advice on friendship ...however ...You've been dumped and your ex wants to be you "friend" and you say yes then it's awkward when you meet the new girlfriend, because you had a close intimate relationship with ex .. what then?
The person who does the dumping is always the one who insists that there is no reason you can't be "friends". Don't fall for this. It's a lame attempt to make themselves feel "not guilty" about their improprieties in your relationship. And, by you remaining "friends" with them, it lessens their burden. This person is not a "friend" at all. A "friend" would have the common sense to know that you can't "cut it off" with someone and expect them to still be your "friend". It's a very selfish expectation. My advice to you, move on and find some real "friends".
Hey Keeper, he honestly just doesn't want you to be mad at him for dumping you. He didn't feel a strong enough attraction to you so to not fully hurt you he says,"Let's just be friend's." Unfortunately, this won't work unless you guys hang out with groups of friends. His new girl certainly won't let you hang out together nor is it appropriate. If you still like him cut off contact and if he see's what he missed out on then great, but you can't harp on the past. I know it's painfull, but look forward there are better things in store.
yeah i think that is absolutely perfect, sometime life goes to beyond what we expected so friendship is better, then later you should be dating if you find out about each other.
I need your opinion and advice please. lol. I really like this girl. It all started out with a small crush. We became good friends but we stopped talking because she had a kid with some other guy so each of us went our own ways. Things did not work out with this guy so she never hooked up with him. We are really close now and I like her even more now. I've never told her I like her but she knows because people around her have told her. sometimes I think she has feelings for me too but i'm not sure and don't want to look like and idiot i guess. She did ask me to move in with her but i don't know if its b/c she likes me or just looks at me as a friend. We are moving in together though. Should I tell her I like her before we move in or just go with the flow when we move in together and see where the relationship goes from there?
Don't do it.... My BF and I moved into together and everyone told me not too. We had hooked up many many time but neither of us wanted anything from each other. It was okay for 6 mths; but both of use became drama queens w/ each other. If there is any attraction - don't do it! You will only ruin the good friendship. Jealously comes even when you don't expect it or even want anything from the other person. Both will feel like like they need to pee on their tree at some point - really ruins amazing friendships...
If you need a place to stay, you better not say anything until AFTER... LOL. Just kidding! Look, the biggest is misconception is that you'll lose the person as a friend if you let them know that you are attracted to them. Trust me, it won't. If anything, it will make your friendship even stronger, not weaker, unless of course you get all creepy about it. My advice is to tell her this and get prepared for her to give you a BIG kiss (on the lips or the cheeks): "I don't know if you've ever looked in a mirror and noticed how beautiful you are, but it's humanly impossible for a man to see you and not be attracted to you. And, well, I'm no different. (pause and wait for her response... if she doesn't say anything, continue with this line...) I just wanted to let you know that I'm not gay. (sigh, and then laugh... she'll love you to death afterward... as a friend or even more)
I disagree... when one knows they care for the other friends/ or friends that would do anything for each tother.... The person who cares who cares more is alwsys unsure of their place within within the life as a friend of the other; even if she/he says a lot of comments leading you in the wrong direction. The reality is how ho treats you on a day in and day out basis with or with out his friends (If he is a hit or miss.... The quesition is - how does he make you feel around his friends or someone he is trying to impress - guys like to impress (think is how it is correlated to how things go in the future... ie, is he a Jones meets Jones or I'd don't care wheat others think.... So being with each other doesn't count w other doesn't always cound, do you remember Sex & the City with Carries' friend - that is reality!
Thanks for the advice dahnye1. I really appreciate it. It means the world to me and i really mean it. I know you say I should tell her but should I tell her before or after we move out?
If you like her, Don't Move In with Her! This is a common pitfall among men. You want to talk about moving too fast lol. If you tell her after you move in that you like her and she doesn't have the same feelings she will feel disrespected that you just moved in because you like her. Then it's super awkward. If you move in and she does like you, great but that is way too fast. Something doesn't seem right here. If she liked you she should as a decent human being tell you before asking you to be a roommate. Also, there is no mystery when you live with someone. You know everything about them...boring. Tell her you respect her, but can't move in because you like her. Ask her on date first for God's sakes. ANd not a cheesy romantic date she wants to have fun. Peace
I understand that you say that she will fell disrespected if i tell her i like her after we move in but she already knows i like her even though she has not heard it coming out of my mouth. and if she does like me i know you say that she should be a decent human being and tell me she likes me before we move in , but then again I'm doing the samething to her because I haven't told her i liked her yet. What should I do? Please help me xcountrymike!!!!??????